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There was a man who was looking for the perfect woman and when he found her, he couldn’t have her because she was looking for the perfect man!

A description of the perfect woman is found in the acrostic poem of Proverbs 31:10-31. Everyone extols her as the portrait of the perfect wife, mother, mate and companion. But, when we understand the reciprocal nature of the marital relationship, we come to know something about the Proverbs 31 man.

How can this woman be so diligent efficient, earnest, loving and chaste? Her love for and her work for her husband and children are shown in the words of the Proverb. Her business sense, foresight, her drive, incentives and freedoms are all stated in Proverbs 31. She “seeks”, “rises”, “girds”, “makes”, “opens”, and “looks.”

What if she had a husband who insisted she do nothing without checking with him? What if her husband made her stay home all the time? What if her husband controlled all the money and made every decision?

What kind of man is the husband to the Proverbs 31 woman? His heart - inner mind-trusts in her and his heart has not lack of gain (v 11). How did he know he could trust her? He got to know her character, family, rearing and values even before they were married. During that time he came to trust in the kind of person she was. And, she earned his trust by her consistent and faithful character.

Because they are team, her husband devotes his time to civic and other business affairs. And “he is known” in the city. He has a good and well-respected reputation. He is a man who is secure in himself. Because of this, he allows his wife a great deal of freedom to express her own talents in whatever areas she chooses.

She uses her talents and freedoms and we find that she makes and sells things. Using her own good sense, she even buys a field and plants a vineyard in it (v. 16). Notice that she makes independent decisions. Her husband is a one who manages by exception.

The Proverbs 31 man respects his wife. This is evident from the children’s attitude toward their mother: The children know just how much he respects his wife because they call her blessed (v. 28) - words of praise and compliments.

Note also that her husband “praises her.” The Hebrew word means, “to be boastful.” He boasts about his wife’s accomplishments, literally “sings her praises.” How can he praise her if he doesn’t know what she’s doing? How does he know what she’s doing? They talk. They communicate. She tells him about her activities and he listens to her. Unlike a lot of men who think a woman’s activities are unimportant and uninteresting, he’s interested in what she does.

His praise goes like this: “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all” (v. 29). Note the quality of his praise. There is no competition or jealousy on his part. He gives her the praise she rightly deserves. Verse 31 says: “Give her the product of her and let her works praise her in the gates.”